I like hearing Raj say to the effect that in spite of all our study and good intentions, we are still prone to s.s.d. and they are the 'laws'  which dictacte or manifest in our lives.

I have expressed that thought a few times during the week so I am finding that anothers' voice to the same effect, is comforting.

I haven't listened to the whole talk yet but I do want to post and share my needs (thoughts and feelings and correction thereof) as I listen.   My attention span is variable and often, the first thoughts He expresses, get well diluted by the time I am halfway through listening.  So I would like to change that.  Posting here may help me keep more accountable to my desire to 'understand'. Anyone who feels to join  is welcome.

So i will review this again when i get back.  So far what I have grasped is that He is voicing a need very clearly and is saying why it hasn't been met. i.e. why we experience miracles and liberation only sporadically.  The cause of this is our commitment to special relationships which we engaged in with at least one other; together we have determined to see things differently, independantly from our Father, and all this mechanism of special relationships  is a defense against the natural way, our Father's way in which we are His Sons and Daughters.  He then procedes to give more clarity about what a special relationship is like...

I observed that His focus is not on what awake means but on what keeps us/me from waking up to fully enjoying our/my Birthright.  I find this meaningful and hopeful.

I am also noticing that according to my own need, He is once again, right at the point where clarity is needed.  What is a special relationship? 

I have gotten the gist of most of it;  at times, probably most often, I can feel the difference but not having been certain, having confussion about guidance and realities and how all these are guided at the degree where my ignorance needs/allows it, has left me perplexed.  I don't expect to understand my way into the Kingdom of Heaven but I certainly don't expect to get there being confused either.  And I find myself happy to be able to share,walk, with you through this.  There was a time when exposing my ignorance would have been painful, but it doesn't feel that way now.  Of late I have found that much what has been posted here has been wonderfully synchronistic and very helpful and I am inviting the continuation of it. 

You know?  I really believe there is an end to this... it doesn't feel anymore like 'this is how life is'... and the end isn't s.s.d....  I am very grateful to every One of You.